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So for any of us in this room today,
let’s start out by admitting we’re lucky. We don’t live in the world
our mothers lived in, our grandmothers lived in, where career choices
for women were so limited. And if you’re in this room today, most of us grew up in a world
where we have basic civil rights, and amazingly, we still live in a world
where some women don’t have them. But all that aside,
we still have a problem, and it’s a real problem. And the problem is this: Women are not making it
to the top of any profession anywhere in the world. The numbers tell the story quite clearly. 190 heads of state —
nine are women. Of all the people
in parliament in the world, 13 percent are women. In the corporate sector, women at the top, C-level jobs, board seats — tops out at 15, 16 percent. The numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction. And even in the non-profit world, a world we sometimes think of
as being led by more women, women at the top: 20 percent. We also have another problem, which is that women face harder choices between professional success
and personal fulfillment. A recent study in the U.S.
showed that, of married senior managers, two-thirds of the married men had children and only one-third
of the married women had children. A couple of years ago, I was in New York, and I was pitching a deal, and I was in one of those fancy
New York private equity offices you can picture. And I’m in the meeting —
it’s about a three-hour meeting — and two hours in,
there needs to be that bio break, and everyone stands up, and the partner running the meeting
starts looking really embarrassed. And I realized he doesn’t know
where the women’s room is in his office. So I start looking
around for moving boxes, figuring they just moved in,
but I don’t see any. And so I said, “Did you just
move into this office?” And he said, “No,
we’ve been here about a year.” And I said, “Are you telling me
that I am the only woman to have pitched a deal
in this office in a year?” And he looked at me, and he said, “Yeah. Or maybe you’re the only one
who had to go to the bathroom.” (Laughter) So the question is,
how are we going to fix this? How do we change these numbers at the top? How do we make this different? I want to start out by saying,
I talk about this — about keeping women in the workforce — because I really think that’s the answer. In the high-income part of our workforce, in the people who end up at the top — Fortune 500 CEO jobs,
or the equivalent in other industries — the problem, I am convinced,
is that women are dropping out. Now people talk about this a lot, and they talk about things
like flextime and mentoring and programs companies
should have to train women. I want to talk about none of that today, even though that’s all really important. Today I want to focus
on what we can do as individuals. What are the messages
we need to tell ourselves? What are the messages we tell
the women that work with and for us? What are the messages
we tell our daughters? Now, at the outset,
I want to be very clear that this speech comes with no judgments. I don’t have the right answer. I don’t even have it for myself. I left San Francisco,
where I live, on Monday, and I was getting on the plane
for this conference. And my daughter, who’s three,
when I dropped her off at preschool, did that whole hugging-the-leg, crying,
“Mommy, don’t get on the plane” thing. This is hard. I feel guilty sometimes. I know no women, whether they’re at home
or whether they’re in the workforce, who don’t feel that sometimes. So I’m not saying
that staying in the workforce is the right thing for everyone. My talk today is about
what the messages are if you do want to stay in the workforce, and I think there are three. One, sit at the table. Two, make your partner a real partner. And three, don’t leave before you leave. Number one: sit at the table. Just a couple weeks ago at Facebook, we hosted a very senior
government official, and he came in to meet with senior execs from around Silicon Valley. And everyone kind of sat at the table. He had these two women
who were traveling with him pretty senior in his department, and I kind of said to them, “Sit at the table.
Come on, sit at the table,” and they sat on the side of the room. When I was in college, my senior year, I took a course called
European Intellectual History. Don’t you love that kind
of thing from college? I wish I could do that now. And I took it with my roommate, Carrie, who was then a brilliant
literary student — and went on to be a brilliant
literary scholar — and my brother — smart guy, but a water-polo-playing pre-med, who was a sophomore. The three of us take this class together. And then Carrie reads all the books
in the original Greek and Latin, goes to all the lectures. I read all the books in English and go to most of the lectures. My brother is kind of busy. He reads one book of 12
and goes to a couple of lectures, marches himself up to our room a couple days before the exam
to get himself tutored. The three of us go to the exam
together, and we sit down. And we sit there for three hours — and our little blue notebooks
— yes, I’m that old. We walk out, we look at each other,
and we say, “How did you do?” And Carrie says, “Boy, I feel like
I didn’t really draw out the main point on the Hegelian dialectic.” And I say, “God, I really
wish I had really connected John Locke’s theory of property
with the philosophers that follow.” And my brother says, “I got the top grade in the class.” (Laughter) “You got the top grade in the class? You don’t know anything.” (Laughter) The problem with these stories
is that they show what the data shows: women systematically
underestimate their own abilities. If you test men and women, and you ask them questions
on totally objective criteria like GPAs, men get it wrong slightly high, and women get it wrong slightly low. Women do not negotiate
for themselves in the workforce. A study in the last two years of people entering
the workforce out of college showed that 57 percent
of boys entering, or men, I guess, are negotiating their first salary, and only seven percent of women. And most importantly, men attribute their success to themselves, and women attribute it
to other external factors. If you ask men why they did a good job, they’ll say, “I’m awesome. Obviously. Why are you even asking?” If you ask women why they did a good job, what they’ll say is someone helped them, they got lucky, they worked really hard. Why does this matter? Boy, it matters a lot. Because no one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side, not at the table, and no one gets the promotion if they don’t think
they deserve their success, or they don’t even understand
their own success. I wish the answer were easy. I wish I could go tell
all the young women I work for, these fabulous women, “Believe in yourself
and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success.” I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it’s not that simple. Because what the data shows,
above all else, is one thing, which is that success and likeability
are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. And everyone’s nodding,
because we all know this to be true. There’s a really good study
that shows this really well. There’s a famous Harvard
Business School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen. And she’s an operator
in a company in Silicon Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful
venture capitalist. In 2002 — not so long ago — a professor who was then
at Columbia University took that case
and made it [Howard] Roizen. And he gave the case out, both of them,
to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: “Heidi” to “Howard.” But that one word made
a really big difference. He then surveyed the students, and the good news was the students,
both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard
were equally competent, and that’s good. The bad news was
that everyone liked Howard. He’s a great guy.
You want to work for him. You want to spend the day
fishing with him. But Heidi? Not so sure. She’s a little out for herself.
She’s a little political. You’re not sure
you’d want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters
and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves
to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion,
to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices
they will make for that, even though for their brothers,
there are not. The saddest thing about all of this
is that it’s really hard to remember this. And I’m about to tell a story
which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk at Facebook
not so long ago to about 100 employees, and a couple hours later,
there was a young woman who works there sitting outside my little desk,
and she wanted to talk to me. I said, okay, and she sat down,
and we talked. And she said, “I learned something today. I learned that I need to keep my hand up.” “What do you mean?” She said, “You’re giving this talk, and you said you would take
two more questions. I had my hand up with many other people, and you took two more questions. I put my hand down, and I noticed
all the women did the same, and then you took more questions, only from the men.” And I thought to myself, “Wow, if it’s me — who cares
about this, obviously — giving this talk — and during this talk, I can’t even notice
that the men’s hands are still raised, and the women’s hands are still raised, how good are we as managers of our companies
and our organizations at seeing that the men
are reaching for opportunities more than women?” We’ve got to get women
to sit at the table. (Cheers) (Applause) Message number two: Make your partner a real partner. I’ve become convinced that we’ve made
more progress in the workforce than we have in the home. The data shows this very clearly. If a woman and a man
work full-time and have a child, the woman does twice the amount
of housework the man does, and the woman does three times
the amount of childcare the man does. So she’s got three jobs
or two jobs, and he’s got one. Who do you think drops out
when someone needs to be home more? The causes of this are really complicated,
and I don’t have time to go into them. And I don’t think Sunday football-watching
and general laziness is the cause. I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society, we put more pressure
on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls. I know men that stay home and work in the home
to support wives with careers, and it’s hard. When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff
and I see the father there, I notice that the other mommies
don’t play with him. And that’s a problem, because we have to make it
as important a job, because it’s the hardest job
in the world to work inside the home, for people of both genders, if we’re going to even things out and let
women stay in the workforce. (Applause) Studies show that households
with equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the divorce rate. And if that wasn’t good enough motivation
for everyone out there, they also have more — how shall I say this on this stage? They know each other more
in the biblical sense as well. (Cheers) Message number three: Don’t leave before you leave. I think there’s a really deep irony to the fact that actions
women are taking — and I see this all the time — with the objective
of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here’s what happens: We’re all busy. Everyone’s busy.
A woman’s busy. And she starts thinking
about having a child, and from the moment she starts
thinking about having a child, she starts thinking
about making room for that child. “How am I going to fit this
into everything else I’m doing?” And literally from that moment, she doesn’t raise her hand anymore, she doesn’t look for a promotion,
she doesn’t take on the new project, she doesn’t say, “Me. I want to do that.” She starts leaning back. The problem is that — let’s say she got pregnant
that day, that day — nine months of pregnancy,
three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath — Fast-forward two years, more often — and as I’ve seen it — women start thinking
about this way earlier — when they get engaged, or married, when they start thinking
about having a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this. She looked a little young. And I said, “So are you and your husband
thinking about having a baby?” And she said, “Oh no, I’m not married.” She didn’t even have a boyfriend. (Laughter) I said, “You’re thinking about this
just way too early.” But the point is that what happens once you start
kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who’s been through this — and I’m here to tell you,
once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it’s hard to leave
that kid at home. Your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like you’re
making a difference. And if two years ago
you didn’t take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped
looking for new opportunities, you’re going to be bored because you should have kept
your foot on the gas pedal. Don’t leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave
to take a break for a child — and then make your decisions. Don’t make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you’re not
even conscious you’re making. My generation really, sadly, is not going to change
the numbers at the top. They’re just not moving. We are not going to get
to where 50 percent of the population — in my generation, there will not
be 50 percent of [women] at the top of any industry. But I’m hopeful that future
generations can. I think a world where half
of our countries and our companies were run by women,
would be a better world. It’s not just because people would know
where the women’s bathrooms are, even though that would be very helpful. I think it would be a better world. I have two children. I have a five-year-old son
and a two-year-old daughter. I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully
in the workforce or at home, and I want my daughter
to have the choice to not just succeed, but to be liked for her accomplishments. Thank you. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “Why we have too few women leaders | Sheryl Sandberg

  1. Most of The Women at leadership just because of Husband/Father/heir etc. not because of their leadership quality

  2. Keeping my hand up is a skill I just mastered last week and realized it. And it was affirmed by this video. It really does work to put yourself in situations and form the idea you belong before you’re actually accepted because it makes you push to get what you want. ‘Cause in any case as a women you don’t want to be made a fool or feel delusional. and that attribute we have is a benefit— to care about in some regard if we’re seen as our best selves can help our competitiveness.

  3. Even if all the top leaders are women, women will never be happy. Then, they will blame men and the mystical patriarchy for oppressing them to carry all the "burden" of society alone. And then, we men will ensure again that there are more men in the top leadership to share the burden of responsibility. 99% of men are Nice Guys!

  4. I made too 2:30 i just cannot watch ted crap it makes me vomit!Sheryl Kara Sandberg hey Sheryl start your own company employ only womans no men the womans have to do 100% of everything. Let me know how it goes? O look you have been COO of Facebook since 2008 have you sacked all the men at face book and employ only womans?

  5. Watch a 30 mins video in 3 mins. The BEST extension in google chrome store. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/threelly-ai-for-youtube/dfohlnjmjiipcppekkbhbabjbnikkibo
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  6. Because equality doesn't exist. If women were as cheap to hire and so superior as employees, they would be the only people hired, rather than something you have to force on people. This is the simple truth. Sandberg "leaned out" during all of facebooks scandals, while promoting her activism, bragging about how little she worked. She is the example of why, and the fact is this, even women don't like women bosses, that kind of says it all.

  7. Do I understand correctly that even with excellent grades in top schools, plus the means to have servants help raise her children, Sheryl Sandberg has started zero businesses of her own? She has only joined companies started by men? Somewhere out there are women trying to get their own small businesses going, working out of their garages with vision and determination.

  8. wow what she is saying is so so so true
    when i do good on my school work i am always thanking a specific teacher or external luck the question was nice or just the fact maybe my examiner was happy that day
    if i ask any of my guy friends they'll legit say "i am just wired differently i get things really fast" lol

  9. I don’t even want to listen to what she says. This woman is so superficial and fake. Like someone thought her how to sound so to come across as a caring person. Can anyone tell me what in the world this woman has any business running one of the most powerful companies in the world? What qualifications does she have? she is the luckiest woman alive. Wtf the world is coming to. Fake and fake so let’s push more fake. Wtf ??
    Can’t face book find some real manger ??? 😡😡😡

  10. Nothing wrong with women becoming anything. It’s amazing how stupid people are. Just because I don’t object women can be anything they like , doesn’t mean any woman is right for any job.
    Always stupidity prevails because majority are stupid even to see between the lines and that’s why this fake woman runs the show. Because of stupid people.

  11. Women are made to work harder than men. Men die sooner than women. Because focking men deal with the anxiety of pushing their head to come up with innovations and to compete to prevail. It’s a fucking genetic fact. I have no idea how she get to run fb. Wtf??

  12. Anyone notice that she doesn't know how old her daughter is? She's 2 at the end of the speech but 3 at the beginning.

  13. I think that most women are too smart to want to reach the top with all the stress attached to it. Smart men will not aim for that either unless they think ending miserable will bring joy. Undoubtedly women are equal to men and gender inequality is evil. The one area where there is unity between the majority of men and women is the total indifference to the horrendous human imposed suffering of animals. If both men and women appreciate motherhood most of the evils will disappear. I wonder what Sheryl and those in the audience consumed earlier in the day and in the last 9 years.
    DAIRY IS SCARY! The industry explained in 5 minutes – YouTube
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcN7SGGoCNI

  14. Perhaps if women actually EARNED a leadership role instead of having it legislatively GIVEN to you, you might (MIGHT) get some respect from Men. It's not Men's comment here that are the problem. It is the way women THINK!

  15. Feminists: Deny reality all you like, won't make any difference… Reality is reality. Nature is nature. Sorry.

  16. I wish she could expand on the 'negative correlation between women's success and their likability'. Which gender group(s) in that case study deemed a women less preferable as a friend/person to work with than a man with exactly the same character and level of achievement? If even women discriminate against themselves, then we really have a long way to go.

  17. I've rarely heard such a lot a bullshit, such a lot of feminist propaganda. Women are walking away from their traditional roles. When men walk away from their traditional roles they go MGTOW, they don't bend over backwards to be simps to women. The kind of optimal man that women claim they want, doesn't exist, and never will.

  18. Hello, Sheryl Sandberg.
    HOW few is too few???? And by WHOSE judgement???

    On the other hand, HOW many would be too many????? And by whose judgement.

    If you are going to be realistic about this, the 'RIGHT' number of women is the exact number who actually make it to positions of leadership. Leadership is not something that ought to be allocated by proportions according to gender. It is something that ought to be EARNED by showing that you have the qualities required to fulfill the position.

    Doubt and lack of confidence are not qualities that most people look for in a leader.

    And just WHY in God's name would the world be a better place if 50% of the leaders were women? There are some statistics around that show that many women would rather work for or with a male boss anyway.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEXVQiN49V0

    And why we don't have more women in positions of power:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awot-d8U9Cc

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MNiJ64cHkg

     Just my 0.02.

    You have a wonderful dream. Best wishes. Deas Plant.

  19. Female leaders always take male leaders into consideration. Male leaders do not return the favour.

  20. Many of the businesses today are built by men from little to nothing. There is NOTHING preventing women from doing the same. Why not encourage women to get degrees in finance and business management and build your own companies.

  21. First of all, generally, there more women leaders particularly in middle to lower management. However race! White men tends to be at the top they tend to bypass less desirable low positions, shifts, temp status, etc. So its more like colored men at the bottom!

    I'm so sick of this general White women perspective. 5 major companies they are all like this!

  22. what kinda crap is this.this lady gives data,ill give u reality,,women have carreers because its trendy,men have carreeers because that have to make a living.many women when the trendy is over will stop working,let the husband do it,after all its really the mans job anyway is a females thinking.most companies who do data finds this to be the norm if u wanna quot data.

  23. We have too few women leaders because women in general are lazy and not as driven nor as intelligent as men. There, did the whole thing for you in about 15 seconds…but just like a woman she needs 15 minutes to "have a conversation" and not solve anything.

  24. As a career woman, i think the second advise ( make your partner a real partner) is the most difficult to achieve. A lot of male executive are married to housewife…the opposite not really.

  25. women wage a war of attrition against men, just to oust them from jobs feminists covet : men walk away.

    you feminists are completely disconnected with reality, you demand men leave you alone then complain that men leave you alone.

    maybe lobbying to have masculinity outlawed was a fucking stupid idea..

    in any case, metoo only hurts men, in destroying reputations for life, regardless of false accusation being proved.
    Daluuth makes the risk of interaction, on any level, unacceptible to men.
    hoist by your own petard.

    you got what you wanted, so don't complain, grow up.
    feminism is a quasi-religious cult of misandry.
    misogyny/misandry : sexism is sexism how ever you choose to colour it.
    #FeminismNoThanks

  26. Keep in mind it was men who "put" her in the position she's in! Why do these women always play the victim,you don't get a free lift up to the top it's a place that is occupied by the best.Men are willing to sacrifice there lives to a high end careers,it's tough to get to the top.That there are far more men in top positions and so few women is proof that few women are willing to make the sacrifices men are willing to make.

  27. Because of the "pound me too" movement (#metoo), 60% of men won't meet 1 on 1 with women, or have a business lunch… Etc. She had the audacity to say "It's not enough to not harass us. You need to NOT ignore us either"…. ROFL. I don't know where she gets off thinking men owe women anything.

  28. I found her problem statement pretty weak. She didn't fully address why more women in top positions is a good thing. Good for society? Good for company? Good for women themselves? Also good in what ways? I want to hear why this problem is worth solving in addition to having more people know where the lady's bathroom is.

  29. jordan peterson's take on this is correct. i think i've watched this a while ago but i don't remember the content but yea. jordan peterson

  30. I never knew..it's amazing, lovely…contentment is not blaming each other, just to try to grow together..lovely, knowledgeable woman..

  31. I'm feel in ya been through civil rights and amendment rights violations while my ex stole my identity. go figure.

  32. Really hope all those feminism speech could take this kind of approach instead of blaming on different aspects or on the males. Im a woman myself and i find this talk really sensible and truly inspirational. Compared to other videos where they had beautiful intention of inspiring woman but sadly have mistook ways which blame and also shading. This only allows for more and more people thinking feminism is just a group of people who is inferior and emotional. Or even take advantage of this in many aspects.
    Sadly when it is meant to be something meaningful. Truly a tragedy now.

  33. I've noticed that women are not represented in masonry. I guess we need to force women to lay bricks in July to make things fair.

  34. "Women have to chose between professional success and personal fullfilment"… If professional success and personal fulfillment are two different things, than you should go for personal fulfillment. The women are therefore on the right path.

  35. women should never be allowed in positions of authority in business or politics. Men make better leaders in every single way. It is the men who fight for and build civilizations therefore it is up to the men how we run it. This is how god commands for it to be. BRING BACK THE PATRIARCHY

  36. I’m a male with decades of work experience in the corporate world. To be frank, women rarely stack up. It’s come to the point that I calculate the timelines of projects based on how many women are involved. So many have taken on the victim mentality of how they have to break through glass ceilings and lean forward and a dozen other absurd notions. They make more mistakes, take longer to complete simple tasks, whine and feel the need to explain their questions and/or conclusions. Strong women are a rarity and competency and leadership skills are even more rare. That’s the reality

  37. I learned something important recently from a staffing organization, men are more likely to still apply for a job not meeting 100% of the qualifications listed (and still get it because they bothered to apply) but women won't. We feel we shouldn't apply for a job because even though we have the degree and three years experience, it says four, so we skip past it. We don't even try because we think we'd be looked over anyway or it would be wrong to "not follow the rules." Men still apply. We need to be more self-assured, like men, because I did that just now, I applied one term short of my B.S. and I got the job AND they're working with my last term of school in the fall. I asked the hiring manager why, he said I have the experience and talent, and I asked why then ask for the list of qualifications and he said, "It weeds out those who don't feel confident in their ability because a confident person applies anyway." I was blown away.

  38. Did you guys know sharks attack both men and women in equal proportions? I think we could all learn a thing or two from such noble sea beasts.

  39. i wonder if she'd have such easy opportunities if she wasnt a jew….and to think she wasted so much time in the "ban bossy" campaign…..

  40. Thanks very much more than this 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

  41. One thing I noticed in the comments section is Women NEVER advocating for Complete separation/Segregation from Men. Why is that???? Why don't women just take up arm's and overthrow the "patriarchy"?

  42. If women aren't being discriminated against and yet there seems to be a deficit, then the truth must be that most woman don't care about the same things as men do…their life's fulfillment might lie in other things. And maybe just maybe if the future of humanity lies with women then forcibly changing nature could be dangerous…..my advice let women do and be whatever it is that they want to.

  43. Men have sacrificed their family life, their safety(sometimes life) and worked hard to reach the top. If women do the same they will too. Good luck.

  44. It’s funny how they want to take all the office jobs, they don’t want the jobs as garbage collectors oil collectors or minors😂

  45. Why we have too few women leaders? Because a man doesn't care how much money a woman makes as long as she is hot.

  46. Elect More Women? They are caring, social and nonviolent. Great qualities for politicians. Read: www.womenasleaders.world

  47. when females focus on the work more than the next generation. the country slowly dies out. Females has there time Clock to follow and than after that its over. Males can get up to 70 befor there bio-Clock goes steril. In japan the population is slowly dieing. Females think about there Carriers since we gave them the opertunty to work like man. If females were compensated for not working and actually paid to be a good wife and mother than the females would never complain about not having the same opertunities as males. They would infact chose to be workless wife with an income from the goverment and prefer to live that way. The countrys with woman that dosent work to earn money when they move to a country with wellfare system they tend to ignore the educational part and go straight for the income. They got tons and tons of kids but no husband to take care of the kids. Somalia woman specialy does this in sweden. If they are compensated for not working and just geting Children. they rather chose the easy money than working and earn money threw jobs.

  48. if the World was run by woman, we would still be in our stone age, cuz there is no wisdoom or intrests of constantly improving. female controling the World = World never made a single change = human developing never existed.

  49. Me and my husband both are working, if I came 30 mins late from work, my husband comments "she is so irresponsible" but if he is late, I m always worried and feel it would have been tough day for him so I will prepare everything for him and wait…

  50. Why would we listen about leadership from senior management of a company like Facebook who is very unethical and would do anything for money?

  51. I still remember when I was the topper in my school. My female teacher was teaching about equality between men and women and she proudly said "our school topper is also a female". Never felt so proud of myself.

  52. What a amazing woman. She laid out all the points perfectly. I truly hope that the condition improves and in future generations woman contribute to 50% of jobs

  53. Studys have ben dun and ask women if they rather have a woman or a man as a boss and 70% of women want a man as a boss. Wat does that tell u about wat kind of job a woman wants

  54. Sheryl é uma mulher incrível! Estou lendo o seu livro : Faça acontecer. É nada mais que a pura verdade no mundo todo!

  55. Sheryl.. Why don't you think why we have no women in coal mines, military, factories as well.. If you expect equality and equal pay, women should work equally

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