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Alright, man… that’s it… I gotta say it I do dig that hospital gown. I mean I assume you’re headed to a party? Oh. No, okay, okay No, I gotcha… you’re keeping it in character. And I can respect that, bro Because I go to a party like, every year. [laughs] Oh! Oh, dude… this one time Back in high school I went to a party at my buddy’s house And I was dressed up as Patrick Bateman Ya know, you’ve seen ‘American Psycho’, right? Original. Not the shitty sequel with Mila Kunis She is hot as fuck, though But I just don’t get why they’re making all these remakes and reboots… All that crap. Oh, but anyway, so I’m at my buddy’s place And this chick who dumped me like three months prior shows up with her new boyfriend They’re dressed as Shreks… Ya know, he’s Shrek, she’s the girl Shrek Who even remembers the girl Shrek’s name? Ya know, I got other beef with that. But uh… my buddy, he’s gonna give them a tour of the house, so he tells me to hide upstairs Mhm. So when they get to the bathroom I rip open the shower curtain and I jump out with an axe! I even had a poncho on — total Bateman — it was frickin’ great. My girlfriend — ex at the time — must have heard me comin’ ‘Cause she didn’t even flinch But the dude she was with… I swear to God… He shat himself [laughs] He shat himself! Shrek shat himself. They had to burn the costume. Best Halloween… swear to God. [silence] Okay. Ya know, you like music? [turns on radio] “After stabbing a guard. The psychiatric ward is now on lockdown. Police say the suspect is considered to be dangerous and may be armed. Anyone who-” [turns radio off] Well that station sucked! [laughs] [sigh] Is this you around the corner? Okay, bro. Well… As fun as riding in silence for an hour has been I do have to thank you. Ya didn’t vomit. Let me tell you… all these college kids, I pick ’em up and they think they can just throw up all over my car. I mean that’s rude when you really think- [knife stab] [knife stab] [knife stab] [heavy breathing]
Oh no… What the hell, bro! [painful scream] [car door opens] [gasps for air] [painful screams] [knock-knock-knock] Dad? [screams]

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