Talking Stone Film

Film Reviews & Headlines


FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRTNIIIIIIIITTTTE WAAAAAAAALMAAAAAAAARRRRT Today guys, I’m bringing you another Fortnite video.>inb4 default dance censor I want to begin the video with a question When you think of a good movie, a classic film, what title comes to mind? The Godfather? More like the CRINGEfather. Titanic? More like Leonardo the BITCH. All films that have ever been made are pretty terrible but one thing that isn’t terrible are F O R T N I T E SHORT MOVIES *Cringy chase sequence with bad dialogue* These things have been cropping up on YouTube left right and centre It’s basically the second wave of those elsa and spider-man videos that were huge about a year ago but instead of having Venom or Elsa, or… or Olaf. You have, uh Default skin Now these short films are AMAZING because they house some of the best dialogue known to man *Some brainlet massacres orphanage for 19 kills* You guys thought Death Note on Netflix was bad Wooh, wooh W O O H A lot of these videos begin with an intense EPIC battle sequence *Dubstep playing over Fortnite* When it’s really just normal fortnite gameplay but they try and get a bunch of cinematic shots to try and make it look like they put effort into it Just to prove how dumb and simple to make these battle sequences are I made my own and it took me about five minutes to make [Accurate recreation of an average Fortnite short movies] *really hits the sweet spot* That’s what it was missing, the default dance. If they had a default dance I wouldn’t have even made this video, I probably would have, I don’t know, talked about Lil Tay instead. *Pre-pubescent noises* …She has her own TV show. i unironically want to die One thing you’ll notice about these videos the way the dialogue’s written It’s definitely geared towards children because everyone in the video talks like children. Oh, hey, there Raptor old buddy old pal *visible confusion* What a nice beautiful day it is, don’t you agree? Perfect conditions for a 19 KILL GAME wouldn’t you say? *absolutely livid* 19 kills? there’s no way you got 19 kills. That’s way more than I got! *GASP* Now I know what you’re gonna say, Pyro You were in Hunt Down the Freeman you can’t talk about bad voice-acting wel maybe yuo should openya moth and tsart talkin>dj table screech overlay spit et uot corparlor *FoRTnUT ORaNGe JUstiCe 1945 COLorIZed* I’lI have you know, I actually purposely did my lines bad. *liar liar pants on fire* Why isn’t pyrocynical voicing Drift? They’re practically the same person Ah Ah he made the joke 19 kills, 19 kills *Unintelligible* 19 kills You got 19 kills and you also say Scott Shelby is not the origami killer. Scott Shelby is not the origami killer J a s o n . *Heavy Rain flashback* With these videos when there isn’t an amazing epic battle sequence It’s two characters looking at each other in-game and just looking blankly like they want to end their life It’s amazing how Fortnite has reached the point where you can stand still and look at someone and you actually get money for it I’m telling Omega. You shouldn’t speak like that, even though I do admit, this is all very boring Is that Junkrat? Is that Junkrat from Overwatch? Look at his pit stains HE’S SWEATIIIIN I hope you went to the bank because I want the freshest, crispiest v bucks you have Hold on a minute. Didn’t Ebin games. Don’t Epic Games where games are epicness Specifically tell you the only place you can get v-bucks is buying them from the store This video should be flagged for child endangerment. If a default skin came up to me and said he could give me v-bucks. Mm-mm epic games shut this channel down, please. Ha ha, no way kid you did it I gotta say I didn’t think you had it in you. A bit off topic but one thing I don’t get is how John wick is in so many video games now But he never looks like Keanu Reeves like, you stingy bastards just pay the extra money to get his likeness man. Settle down you two okay, here you go drift as promised. Now, what are you gonna do with your winnings? Just the money emote Oh God, this is crack for ten-year-olds. That’s exactly what this kind of content is it’s amazing how low YouTube content can stoop and you would just always have some demographic of mentally insane people They’ll just eat it up anyway. Now what are you gonna do with your winnings? What am I gonna do with my winnings? I’m gonna have Keanu Reeves from fortnite in his own movie. I mean at the end of the day the content is pretty inoffensive It’s nowhere near the level of frozen Elsa needle in ass *sad music* He just put his gun in her butt! I take it all back they’re practically the same content. One thing I love about the epic battle montages at the start in the midpoint of the video. It’s not even a fair fight They’re just bullying default skins *Mental breakdown* I mean the ironic thing is they’re actually killing people in game that are their age demographic they watch the video. If you want more proof that these kinds of videos exploit the youngest ages of the fortnite player base, the end of each video has a comment reading and you feel like you’re watching an episode of Dora the Explorer. It’s me Scoundrel, I’ve come to hijack the comments reading Do you want to come with us? What do you think is gonna be the next big update in fortnite? Why don’t you tell me in the comments below. *Imitating Junkrat* What do you think is gonna happen in the next update in Fortnite? Please comment random *censor*, so we hopefully get promoted in the algorithm and it clearly worked cause now we’re number one on trending. And if you think the content itself is uh pretty bad, wait until you get the actual commenters themselves. Rozeeta Hirmiz says “Raptor or whoever is reading this, my favorite part of season 5 is Raptor getting beat up by the girls” You know what? I was really just gonna go hard on these videos, but since you’re promoting equality and feminism *starts clapping* That is, can we just please get a round of applause and that’s what it’s all about “How is this number 1 on trending wtf?” “Kids watch it. So YouTube is like, you know, fuck it.” I stumbled upon a site that gives free v-bucks I love how he edited the English of his comments. So it wouldn’t be picked up by a bot. You actual scum*censor*, you’re probably the worst person in this video. Not even this channel. I’m talking about. Hoi Drift *oink*. No. I’m not I’m not doing that. I’m not reading it like Peppa Pig *censor* I’m a 45 year old man. I should not be made to read a comment in a Peppa Pig voice. I’m not doing it. Get outta class I’m gonna show him he’s not funny. I’m gonna game end him. Hahaha Oh my god, they have British people voicing the video. Again, all is, all is forgiven. Oi, Drift get here you nerd Get here you noob. I’m gonna destroy you. Don’t wait. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *underwater noises* I’m alive *Pyro having another mental breakdown* The fight choreography of this this this scripted chase sequence, which has clearly had years of planning like when he misses that shot and shoots the wall you you really feel like Batman *reviewer voice* Arkham Asylum makes you feel like you’re Batman To be honest, I do like the British voice actor, but you could have replaced him with True Geordie and it would have been a much better experience Can we stop throwin *censor* cuz everyone’s gonna go home I, I need to get away from here. That was Moniker, my high school bully He’s been making my life hell for years. This man is chasing you with a shotgun, made you nearly die by falling off a cliff and he’s your high school bully This has come full circle now guys, it’s not about fortnite We’ve now treaded into the realm of roblox bully videos. That was moniker my high school bully He’s been making my life hell for years. He’s the reason I went to the edge of town. He hacked himself into the game Ah, it’s Thanos. That guy’s been such a bully trying to collect all the Infinity stones I think you’re pretty evil. Well, I don’t need you. I’ll game-end him myself I’ll game-end him. I’ll game-end him myself. I will game like that This video is so catered towards like small small children They refuse to say kill or defeat or destroy they say game end *Unintelligible again* And just to show you how easy These short films are to make, I tried to put my own together in about half an hour or so. My first game of fortnite, I hope I do well Is that another gamer I hear? Time to get you come up-ence noob. I do I do *censor*ing hate myself. *Backed away from mic* For real though So uh John wick. I didn’t know how to word this, but I think I have feelings for you Who even are you lol my wife left me, please just let me die in peace I’m begging on my knees. No, John Wick, please. Don’t do it *Random noises* It’s literally just this this is this is all they do. It’s like “hey, I’m gonna go out and like uhh get a job I’m just gonna leave fortnite on standstill. I can make money from this no way.” John Wick- You better pay me for this acting Hire me Anyways bros. I hope you enjoyed the video and this Fantastic fortnite let’s play. If you’re new to the channel subscribe Turn on notifications and comment your favorite fanfictions about drift in the comment section below *Outro* *Fortnite default dance* *Screaming*

100 thoughts on “FORTNITE SHORT FILM CRINGE

  1. Who wants me to change my profile picture to a fortnite skin and change my name to like John Cummings or something?

  2. I can't tell if Pyro voiced Scoundrel or if it's some other YT cameoing cause the VA for that specific voice is on another level

  3. Me back in the early 2000s: wow red vs blue is so good! Why don’t more people do similar stuff with other games?

    Me in 2019: please stop. I want to end game myself

  4. You think ten year olds watch this? Well now 2019 people hate this game. I’m a big boy ten year old, I WEAR PAMPERS!

  5. wh,why do people watch these kind of garbage they dont even try using sfm if they are really into making these shit

  6. 1 year later, this person is still doing it. MULTIPLE CRIMES including: genocide, fake pregnancy, murder ( I counted about 1000 of those) the list goes on and on. THE YOUTUBER’S NAME IS LITTLE KELLY. Let’s get her off YouTube. It would do a great deed to get her off of YouTube! Every like is every subscriber she loses!!!!!!

  7. I was in a dentist's office with alot of little kids
    one was watching one of these cringey fortnite videos
    One was watching pewdiepie minecraft series.

  8. Also I’m having trouble understanding why a game about brutal murder is being flaunted about, school shooting "awe man I only got forteen kills I suck" totally oblivious the the lives they just took

  9. Pyro give us f- ooh almost swore
    PYRO GIVE US FLIPPING PETSCOP 2 OR I WILL KI- DAMMIT!!
    KnOw WhAt FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff*cK iT
    *PYRO GIVE US F*ING PETSCOP 2 OR I WILL GAME END YOUHOLYDFSKOGJSGRMVFGTOJDLMs

  10. Honestly, your Fortnite short film is better than theirs.
    I have to admit though…

    (I sorta watched one of those channels somewhat… It's kinda dumb, I know, I knew it even as I watched it… but… I was sorta curious what would happen next, just outa curiousity, you know? Please don't hate me.)

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