Talking Stone Film

Film Reviews & Headlines

Back in 2012, scientists at the University of Wyoming designed, get this, Spider Goats. No joke! By splicing together the genes of spiders with actual goats, they created barn yard creatures that could spin their own webs! I mean Batman has his Batcow, Let’s give Spiderman his Spider goat! [Spider Goat]: Baaawaw *Intro theme* [Goat]: Screams [MatPat]:First screaming goats, then fainting goats, now spider goats. Seriously, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Hello, Internet! Welcome to Film Theory, the show who’s intro starts with a topic I have yet to cover, in the two years of this channel’s
existence. Simply because I was so confident that we’d actually get to covering it. And today we’re finally going to talk about radioactive Spidermans. Now before we get into today’s theory, let me just say the new movie looks incredible! Though of course I can’t say for certain, since, ya know, I wasn’t invited to the previews… Unlike literally every other movie youtube channel out there. And also Smosh Games… for some reason who I love ya guys but… (Annoyed grunt) And uh… I don’t know man Mickey Mouse is just trying to grind my face into the dirt with his over sized, cartoonish, yellow shoe. *Extremely bad Mickey laugh imitation* *imitating Mickey* “You suck Mat!” Aaaaaanyway enough about me and the chip in my shoulder about being one of the largest film channels on YouTube but still not getting invited to events like that… Today it is time to whip out your theory shooters because *get this*, Peter Parker, (Your friendly neighborhood spider bro), yeah, well, he is, without question, totally dead. OhOhOH, nonono, not in a “he’s dead and symbolically making his way through the phases of grief Majora’s Mask” kinda way. More of a “Hey, have you ever really stopped to think about what the fatal ramifacations of a human pocessing spider powers might be?” Because here’s the thing, forget Rhino and Lizard and Vulture. Spiderman’s biggest enemy is gonna be his own anatomy, every time he steps out the door to do some web swinging. Now, you’ll notice in most versions of the story Spiderman got his powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider which alters his DNA and gives him awesome powers like super strength proportional to that of spider, lightning fast reflexes, climbing walls and Spider-sense. AKA literally being able to predict the future. Because I don’t know about you, but the first thing comes to mind when I’m thinking about spiders is their reputation as nature’s fortune tellers! Why is Spider-sense a thing? Maybe there is an actual reason for it. Come to think of it, Spider-sense makes literally no sense. You’ll notice though one thing I didn’t mention is his ability to shoot spider webs! Because that one is a bit tricky. You see, originally Spiderman made the web shooters himself but also sometimes in the comics he did get the ability to make spiderwebs inside his own body and then the movies gave him the power just right off the bat. So long story short, it’s complicated, alright? But it gets even more awkwardly complicated when you consider that the male spiders’ web shooters share space with *whispers* their reproductive ducts Ugh, whispering it just makes it sound even grosser. So needless to say we are not even touching that one. This is still a family friendly show. I’m not even going close to that one. But all joking aside, it’s that man part of Spider-Man that’s going to get Peter Parker into trouble. I mean, sure. Peter’s DNA might have changed with the spider bite, but he’s still a human. Well… most of the time. What I’m trying to point out to you today is that no amount of radiation is suddenly gonna change the way his body is constructed. The way that blood pumps through his veins or that he has an actual endoskeleton. And details like that, while they may seem insignificant, actually matter a lot, when you’re suddenly subjecting yourself to very non-human, spider like activities like web swinging. These are literally the difference makers between life or death. And Peter… is definitely gonna be on the death side of that spectrum no matter how much spider strength he might possess. For instance, Spiders have what’s called an open circulatory system. *Spiderman theme music* Spider blood! Spider blood! Radio- *music stops Yeah!!! That opening for the ’90’s cartoon was so rad! And so scientifically inaccurate because spiders don’t actually have blood, radioactive or otherwise. You see, a spider’s open circulatory system consists of a big ol’ muscle sack of a heart filled with what’s known as hemolymph. Basically, the fancy word for bug blood. In retrospect, I guess *mimics Spiderman theme song* Hemolymph Hemolymph Radioactive Hemolymph. *returns to normal* wouldn’t have been as big of a hit with the kiddies. Anyway, inside the spider’s body, the heart contracts to put pressure on the hemolymph. Which pushes it out to fill large sacks around the essential organs And that, ladies and gentleman is how oxygen gets to all the important parts of a spider’s body. The hemolymph is kinda free to flow wherever it wants to until the heart summons it back, cleans out the wastes, and then pushes it back into the sacks again. Humans, by contrast, have a closed circulatory system where the blood is trapped inside one continuous loop running through arteries and veins as it flows from the lungs to the heart and around the body. It’s a great system that works really well, until you start having to deal with g-forces. You see, when trapped in a closed circulatory system, g-forces can actually pull blood down and away from the organs they need to go to. Places like, say, the brain. We’re a second or two without oxygen and WHAMO! You have passed out! And guess who’s feeling a bunch of extra g-forces literally all the time? Good ol’ Peter Parker, our friendly neighborhood Spiderman, as he web-swings his way through the city. Just how many G’s? Let’s talk about that. You know how when you spin a bucket of water around, the water stays in the bottom of the bucket and doesn’t fall out when it’s upside down? Well, that happens because of centripetal force, the force that acts on anything moving in a circular path and that force is directed towards the center of the circle. But now, replace the bucket with Peter’s body and the water with Peter’s blood. So I ran the calculations and found that every time Spiderman swings through the city, he’s experiencing, at minimum, 3 Gs of force as his body bottoms out of the arc of his swing, sending blood rushing out of his brain and down to his feet. Spiders, when they swing on webs, don’t have the same problem because of their open circulatory system. They can just contract their heart more to force the hemolymph to spread around their body more evenly. But a human? We’re in trouble. It’s actually a reason why fighter pilots have to wear special compression suits when they’re stunt flying, so their blood can stay more evenly distributed around their bodies as they flip through the air. And call me crazy, but the last thing you want to have happen while flying around on a thin rope of webbing hundreds of metres above the road is the black out and go careening down to slam into the ground. Not very super heroic of you, there, Spiderboy. But lightheadedness is the least of Spidey’s worries. I don’t care how super he is, he’d constantly be rupturing his own internal organs every time he swung around on those webs How? Well, with moments like this: Deadpool: “He’s gonna do a superhero landing, wait for it! Whooo! Superhero landing!” Spiderman: “Hey, everyone.” These sorts of landings are iconic for Spiderman. And yet, they’d also be unbelievably deadly. Take for instance this scene in Sam Raimi’s original Spiderman. Peter discovers that he has the ability to shoot webs, and on his first attempt to swing, he hits a wall like Wile E. Coyote Hilarious? More like hilariously dead. *slam sound effect* After seeing this and running some quick numbers using pixel measurements, Peter is swinging in this scene at over 17 meters per second, or almost 40 miles per hour. And he’s hitting that wall with over 75,000 Newtons of force. That translates to over 100 G-forces of deceleration instantaneously. Remember! Peter isn’t a spider. He’s a SpiderMAN. And even with enhanced super strength and reflexes, he’s still just a guy. A guy who definitely just had all his internal organs slam into his ribcage because, unlike a real sider, who has an exoskeleton, humans have hard bones inside their bodies protecting the organs that are sloshing around inside there. And when you’re swinging at 40 miles an hour and suddenly come to a dead stop, that protection becomes a dangerous roadblock, as your organs want to keep up with their momentum only to crash headlong into the ribcage, rupturing themselves in the process. But hey, if the sudden stop doesn’t kill him well, the extreme falls will. Again, spiders have evolved and adapted to their wall climbing, web-based lifestyle. And that means adapting to avoid fall damage. More specifically, spiders bodies are built in a way that they have high surface area relative to their volume. In other words, this means they have a large surface to act as an aerofoil and thus slow their fall, coupled with a small overall mass. They’re kinda like a natural parachute. They’ve evolved in a way that enables them to fall from huge heights and still survive, because that’s what their life entails every single day. Climbing into high corners, building webs, and yeah, sometimes getting caught by a stay breeze or Swiffer, only to plummet to the ground. They need to be able to survive that and their bodies are built accordingly. Humans, on the other hand, are built to sit on their computers and type. And thus, that means they’re dense. And shaped like walking, talking railroad spikes. Wide spider is wide, but narrow Spiderman is cutting through the air like butter! The way his body is shaped isn’t gonna help him slow his descent at all. So surviving the punishing 600 megapascals of pressure he’s placing on his body with 200 meter dead drop landings like this one is just impossible! But most importantly, remember that chitin exoskeleton that spiders have I mentioned a couple paragraphs ago? Well, they have two, technically. The outer layer is hardened and resistant to puncture forces, and the inner layer is more stretchy, and has a high tensile strength. It’s able to bend and flex, to do things like, you know, absorb the impact of performing landings like this one. But if you’re a dense human rod with dense human rod-like bones inside of you, holding everything together, those things will absolutely shatter and break when you’re putting that amount of pressure on them, spider strength or no! Let’s just say that Tom Holland is gonna lose a few more inches off of his already petite stature. Long story short, Spiders have evolved to the form they are today over thousands of years. To perfect a body type that’s adapted to all of it’s creepy-crawly, weird arachnid needs. Climbing walls, falling off those walls, changing velocity quickly. Those same powers, but without the proper body structures to support those powers is gonna just be a recipe for disaster. Our soft and squishy, not-parachute like, closed circulatory, dense bodies just aren’t equipped to handle it, spider bite or no. Moral of the story is that web swinging is NOT something humans should be doing unless supervised by an adult… In a giant flying robot exoskeleton. But hey! That’s just a theory! A Film Theory!! Aaaaaaaand cut! *outro music*

98 thoughts on “Film Theory: Spiderman is DEAD! Web Swinging’s Tragic Truth (Spider-Man: Homecoming)

  1. The venom did go into his blood stream which could have made it more like hemoglophin but what that do explain pls MATT

  2. I'm pretty sure that one of spider-man's unstated powers is resistence to G-forces and being able to swing and fall from really high

  3. But… he has spider strength. We don't know how much it gave him. Don't question something we see to actually have worked.

  4. why not swing upside down then? sure the blood goes straight to your head but wouldnt it be better than a large amount of it going away from your brain?

  5. Spidersense doesn't let him see the future, it simply tells him where danger is coming from, maybe a little more research and you'd know this instead of trying to make a cheap joke and having it completely flop

  6. I'm not sure you know what the proportional strength of a spider means, but every aspect of Peters body is excessively strengthened, his bones, his skin, his internal organs, everything, you say that g-force would've pulled Peter's blood from his brain, well I respond to this by saying his proportional strength of a spider also counts for his heart, his heart would pump blood much stronger to adapt to the g-forces, it doesn't take much time to think about this, it's already been stated in comics that Spider-man is strong enough to break somebody's hand by just standing still and taking an enemies punch, his body is so strong that he breaks people's wrists by simply taking punches, do you think that the man who can break wrists by standing still would be killed by swinging on a web?

  7. Failed to consider massive physiologic changes like the organs being webbed tightly together so they don't swish around

    Also, maybe spiderman real power is super regeneration

  8. I assume thats what the spider swinging “position” where he raises his legs so that blood stays around the vita-

    His organs will WHAT?

  9. Matpat breaks down and discusses what is wrong with marvel movies, includes insulting it with arrogance


  10. But u don’t know how strong spider-man super strength is hahahhaahhahahahahahah I have casted another theory on u

    Wtf am I saying also please pin din

  11. I like to think he has an endoskeleton AND an exoskeleton under his skin, above all the vital organs? So he’s useful to society?

  12. you know matpat he maybe gain the power from the spiders so he can survive falls and the power to distribute the blood like a spider

  13. I just have to say that a spider bite that modifies your DNA may actually be able to modify your internal organs to sustain what it takes to be a spider man. You take spider man to be a man with spider abilities not a man and spider at the same time. Remember when he was more spider than man in the 90's TV show. You're making him more man than spider. Thanks.

  14. Um actually, before slamming into the wall after swinging from that roof, he tried to put his feet on the ground and stop which most definitely slowed him down and as we see in the next scene, he hits the wall WAY slower.

  15. I suffer from the slightly higher end of moderate homophobia and my hands can’t type as good as they should I feel like I’m about to pass out and this whole video is killing me, sorry matpat I won’t be able to watch anymore… remember my sacrifice 😭

  16. While I applaud your scientific theories about Spidey, you are slightly mistaken, in the comics Peter does explain, that the spider bite did indeed alter his human physiology somewhat. He explained, that his human skeleton was made quite a bit more resilient, and elastic, and that his tendons and ligaments, were made into the consistence of a rubber band. If that is true, then it would be conceivable for the rest of his body to be adapted for his new life-style.

  17. Wtf you didn't get invited, and you're like one of the best YouTube video producer hands down. The amount of editing, and infirmation you go through is astounding.

  18. You've talked about splicing DNA now you have to tackle this

  19. I mean I agree ALMOST you know how we have skin then the outer layer of bones that protect our organs well you know how spiders have the outer layer and the inner layer which is soft and squishy well what if when his DNA was changed by the Radioactive spider that it gave him the soft and squishy layer able to take extreme fall damage before it hit his bones which would mean in half of these cases he may have been able to survive

  20. This video dismisses Spiderman's "spider strength" as only applying to lifting capacity and other arm/leg strength tropes, but doesn't account for the idea that such strength would be distributed across all internal organs and connective tissues, probably right down to increasing strength in every cell in his body. Spiderman's heart (a muscle) would have increased in proportional strength as well to whatever degree his other muscles did. So would his diaphragm and any peristalsis-related muscles. And, finally, this "strength" may also have been applied to his bones. Thus, if all parts of Spiderman's anatomy also increased in "strength", then it's possible that this all compensates for the g-forces and impacts that are talked about in this video, including allowing for the superhero 3-point landing not breaking kneecaps and leg bones every time.

  21. Matpat: Spider-Man is dead

    Me: fRiCk U mAtPaT!!! HiS dNa WaS aLtErEd!!! WhY cOuLdN't He GeT tHe PoWeR tO sUrViVe AlL tHe WeBsLiNgIn AnD sTuFf

    Matpat: Hold my diet coke

    Dionysus: C-

    Matpat: NOPE WEIRDO (Who are you anyway)

    Dionysus:I'm Dionysus, Greek God of wine, but I've been banned from wine by my dad Zeus, Greek God of thunder and king of the gods, So I live on diet coke instead

    Matpat: Didn't want to know that tho but ok…. still…. YOU CAN'T HOLD MY DIET COKE!!!!!

  22. one thing WRONG MatPat: Spiderman can heal faster than say captain america so his body would re heal after he got out of a swing

  23. Witch versions of spider man is better at swinging with all those cones Peter the spider man or man spider

  24. One thing that caught my attention was when MatPat talked about fighter pilots wearing special compression suits to protect their bodies from harm. It's not like Spider-man's swinging freely with just his clothes, he, too, also wears a suit. Who's to say that his suit isn't made of the same, if not, similar material to protect his body? I might be mistaken, just a random thought.

  25. How would you explain his spider-strength then? If the bite didn't change his cell structures, his muscles wouldn't be able to handle such feats. What says the bite didn't give some sort of protective wrapping around his organs and the ability for his veins to contract at will and redirect bloodflow during those g-force moments?

  26. Remember John Wick survived being shot off a 30 story building. (I know he has a bullet proof suit and that he was extremely injured, but still.

  27. I love how Mat just assumes Spider-Man has regular human levels of durability and pain tolerance. For example, in one of his earlier runs, some thug punched him and completely shattered his arm, while spidey didn't even flinch. He's stated several times in the comics that he pretends to be hurt to prevent criminals from unnecessarily hurting themselves. He doesn't just have super strength.

  28. Well spiderman as
    1:faster regenration (not like deadpool but still fast)
    2:incredibly high impact resistance

  29. Cries about never being invited to events
    Continues to try and figure out ways to kill and ruin things that people love and the movies these events are for
    Jeez it's like your telling them to reward your actions

  30. I love u so much mat pat but u need to rethink some of this.Maybe the bite from the spider actually gave him a exoskeleton on the inside.Like the one u said absorbs impact.Or maybe in the new movie with Tom Holland the suit gives him an exoskeleton and protects him. Sorry if I came off to harsh love ur vids matpat👍

  31. I just thought of something, if Spider-Man had a child, would his child have any possibility at all to have spider powers as well

  32. Wait ,wait ,wait… he’s talking about organic webs, not the web shooters? And I know if he can lift a whole entire car , That means the spider probably didn’t even do much meaning that peter’s parents might have a tampered with their child?and if his body is stronger then most humans that means every hit he takes is like being punched, And we don’t know if Tom Holland’s Spidey has been bitten by a spider , His parents could’ve been gifted with power one with spider powers and one with a very hard exo-skeleton, “But hey! that’s just a theory a film theory!”

  33. wait what if one of the powers that spiderman got from the spider is that his skin become an exoskeleton that just looks like skin

  34. Hey Ima lecture about how cats can fall from so high and not die, so press Read More if you want to ruin your day.

    So basically, cats are able to fall from heights by essentially turning themselves into a parachute by instinctively spreading out their limbs in a certain position making them able to slow their momentum and essentially allow themselves to survive a crazy high fall. That’s also why cats don’t need help getting down from trees. Honestly if you want to learn about this, I recommend “The Lion in Your Living Room” on Netflix.

  35. Ummm matpat i know this is late but ypu can see sam ramy's spider man slow down when he starts fraking trying to walk on top of the build he would still get hurt but not die

  36. Matt you know that spiderman isn't actually adhesive he alters gravity could he not change his bloodstream to keep his brain from just dipping on him

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *